kristin has been a bad kristin
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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