But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
