I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it was like eating out sand paper
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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