Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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