Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
