recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
