got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
