we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize