so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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