first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Michael Bay diarrhea
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
