When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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