do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
