I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
