I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
