sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This is my life. Enjoy the view
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize