I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
