I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize