If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
