i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
