She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
