Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
