I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
