I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
