You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
