Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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