Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
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