I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
The adults are the big ones right?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
