Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
