There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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