Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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