also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
