I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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