I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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