FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
