We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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