are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
