i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
