If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
