last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
do nipples grow back?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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