thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
