I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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