Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
