i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
