1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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