i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
