Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
