Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
