I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I didn't notice because vodka
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
