so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
