i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize