You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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