Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
