Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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