a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
