I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
