Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Congratulations! We have a period
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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