Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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