wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
