I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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