i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize