I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
