I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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