HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
