It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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