Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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