A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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