If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
