i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
