She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize