the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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