When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
