you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
